I’ve been struggling to continue my youtube series Valorant for Dinosaurs. The last episode I published was over a year ago, and I’ve had an episode sitting on my laptop for a very long time, with the full narration but missing the video examples.
And of course the reason is my ADHD executive dysfunction. It’s very obvious to me now, but for most of my life I’ve known that after a while with any project it’s really difficult for me to continue with it. I just don’t want to, and it’s not for any particularly good reason – I just can’t bring myself to do it.
Now that I have medications it’s somewhat easier (though on weekends when I give myself a rest from the meds it is still difficult). It does help to articulate some of the sticking points:
– I’m still not terribly good at Valorant, so I don’t feel like I’m qualified to give advice.
– There’s an episode I published that is now out of date – they changed the way the First-Time User Experience (FTUE) works.
– Capturing footage that well illustrates my points is difficult. It has to be executed in a way that exemplifies what I’m saying, and I have to double check that what I’m saying is competely accurate.
However:
– I’m not trying to get people to a level higher than myself; I’m trying to get people through the fundamentals – particularly older people like myself who don’t have a background of multiplayer shooters and think and act slower. This is an opportunity not a curse.
– I can delete the FTUE episode and make a placeholder.
– I can check the footage with my workmates and friends who *are* good, and then recapture footage that isn’t illustrative. As usual, doing the thing is more important than doing the thing perfectly; this is the “it has to be perfect” trap.
I’ve decided to make a low-effort episode that explains some of this, just laying out where I am on my Valorant journey (eg showing my range & DM practice game with me talking over it) as a way of pushing forward. This is actually quite exciting! I already captured the footage, so now I “just” have to make the voiceover.
But first, I’ll finish Episode 7.